Ok so honestly I don't know what 11 hours were like because I was asleep, or general anesthesia, which according to Wikipedia "is a medically induced coma" ..YUK... I like the "asleep" term WAY better.
Before brain surgery began, it was like any other surgery I've been through, they chat with you about how long the surgery is going to be, mine 4 to 5 hours we were told (hmmmm we will talk about that in a bit). You will be in recovery after you wake up, this time an ICU, once ok to do so a regular room and then home. That all sounds like what we had discussed in my pre-op appointment so I'm all good.
After being delayed due to an emergency that came in that night (very understandable) then delayed again because there wasn't a bed for me, we finally got under way around 10:20. Off they scoot me to the OR rooms, I'm shaking as my nerves kick in, Holy Crap I'm about to have brain surgery...."WAIT"!!! is what part of my brain is saying the other part is praying to God and his Angels to keep me safe. We wheel into the OR room, way smaller then what I thought it would be. I pictured a scene from Grays Anatomy, nope a tiny room with WAY to many people whirling about. OMG this is real, people are poking me and a wonderful nurse lets me know that they will be doing things to me for about an hour and I think...dear Lord I can't watch all these people for an hour. Then my anesthesiologist says "we're going give you some rum and coke you'll feel good" haha...and with that joke...I was out.
I wake up and my first thoughts were this "I woke up, oh thank you God, I woke up" Some memories are clear and other are blurred but I remember that I was on my side and I was NOT happy about that. I listened to Nurses chat among themselves about cases still being in the O.R. and how it was so late. I have no clue what time it is and I finally see TJay my amazing partner and Heather a dear friend. I am grateful, sooooo grateful I can see them, hear them, and I know who they are. My brain is working. I ask what time it is and am confused by the answer because it's around the same time I went in. I know my surgery has happened, my head hurts, there is a bandage wrap around it...I don't understand but the drugs keep me not really caring too much.
A restless night leads to a restless few days. After coming down off of all the pain meds I realize that how I saw my brain surgery going is not the way it went down...you see I'm a control freak. There, I've admitted it. I pictured surgery, then having a cup of tea, then sitting up and hanging out for a few days, back to work in 4 to 6 weeks...yup that's my version of how brain surgery goes down....I'm sure I was a brain surgeon in a past life that's how I know all this stuff.
I find out that my surgery was 10 hours not 4 to 5 (well that explains the time confusion in recovery)..I can't feel the right side of my head, face or teeth. Everything is REALLLLLLLY loud, whispering got on my nerves. My head hurt, seriously my head hurt and I didn't expect that, I know crazy eh, why did I not expect my head to hurt? Anyway, bandage comes off and I feel my head and there are stitches not staples. I work at this hospital and every time I go into a patient's room who has staples I think of that movie Hannibal Lecter and they freak me out. So I'm thankful for the stitches but it's not until I get home that I find out there are a whack of them, why did they have to make such a big cut in my head? I guess when they drill a permanent hole (craniectomy) in your head they need to make a big cut to make a little hole. The great news is they did an amazing hair cut, only shaving above my ear to the base of my skull, my longer hair covering the evidence.
Once home, reality really sinks in, getting up the stairs, not an easy task, I can't figure out how to do the most basic things, this just got real. I spend the next couple of weeks being over joyed with the smallest accomplishments and frustrated that I'm not healed, working and driving again. I mean come on it's been three weeks shouldn't I be better by now? Now almost 10 weeks post op I am starting to slowly feel like me again. Monday is the eye clinic to see what they can do about the double vision, then another appointment and another and another. I've become a user...a medical system user. OMG
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