Friday, April 24, 2015

How My Brain Tumour Stole My Heart And Gave Me Time

Its been 833 days since I had surgery.  833 days of "rebranding" myself.  One might think that rebranding is for industry and products, and this is true.  However, life events can force you to sink to your darkest level or rise above and rebrand yourself.  I've done both, and without the lows I would have never seen the high.  Rebranding comes at a cost, not financial (unless you include therapy) but a soul searching adventure that can literally cost you your sanity.  As I became more and more frustrated with what other complained about, I became bitter.  It's hard not to tell people to get over themselves sometimes.   We all do it however, we whine because our life is not as perfect as what we perceive our neighbours to be.   When we as humans realize that life is not a competition on who has the bigger house, car, or even brain suddenly gets easier.

So other then the medication side affects, a long list of daily medical issues, blah blah blah, what has my brain tumour given me?  It was time to find the positives in this.  So I spent my Winter on a roller coaster of discovery.  I started thinking of the good that has come from my brain tumour and I would like to share them with you.

1.   I have time to research, and research I do.  I didn't know how much I liked to read different studies, medical findings and facts.  Not just on brain tumours, but on the human body itself.  We are amazing creatures, we need to value that.

2.  I have time to cook, I hate cooking, but I now have the time if I choose to do it.

3.  All my actions are choices,  seems simply but it's far more profound then it sounds.

4.  I have time to be me,  I thought I knew me but I was very wrong.  I've started forgiving the me I was and enjoying the me I found.

5.  The biggest and most amazing thing my brain tumour has given me is love.  I have time to parent, to enjoy my children's milestones and help comfort and advise them in their hardships.  I am a full time parent right now and I love it, lucky me!

6.  Time.  Yup that word I dreaded and now I cherish with all my heart.  There is no one out there who doesn't wish they had just a little more time with someone they love.

So brain tumour in my head, thanks for giving me the time to appreciate the "loves" in my life.  We're stuck with one another so it's probably for the best that we get along.