Finally, some fresh air!!! It has been a couple of really hot days here in Halifax and it's not something we are used to around here. We live on the coast, so it's always damp, add hot sunny days with a Humidex and you get temperatures in the 40's. Yikes, it was sticky!!! When you are lacking energy, adding that kind of humidity, you get a girl who was excited to go to Kent Building Supplies simply for the air conditioning.
I swear they turned off my heat regulator switch in my brain. I picture the inside of my brain kind of like a breaker panel in your house, but I can't get at it to reset the one that's tripped. The right side of my head feels like it is expanding in the heat. Pushing against my skull causing sharp pains to zip across my head. Speaking of sharp pains, yup I've had to up the meds again. I held off as long as I could without adding another 100mg to my dose but on Thursday when I was shocked 8 times in a two hour period, it was time. It's not the end of the world if it keeps them at bay, I just can't help but wonder (and of course picture) what is currently going on in my head to cause the Trigeminal Neuralgia to be back. Is it regrowth, is it permanent damage? I wish they put a little piece of plexi glass in my head so you could peek in every now and then and say "yup, tumours' looking good, same place, same size, it's all good." I guess that's what an MRI is in a way, but I'm impatient and hate waiting for someone else to tell me what's going on. It's that whole "I'm not in control" thing again. Since I can't do anything about that, other then accept it, lets move on.
I think my eye might be getting better. I have that pulling feeling happening from within my brain to my eye. Kind of hard to put into words, but that's how it feels. I'm hoping to see the eye clinic soon so they can retest. I'm 3 days away from my 6 months out mark. I can't help but hear the words of the eye clinic " usually where you are at 6 months is where you are going to be". Now I certainly understand that 6 months is a rough number and healing is taking place every day. You do however, have to understand this girl thought she would be back to work in a month. So brain you have until July 12 to get it right!!! ;)
All jokes aside I know that things won't ever be the same, there's a tumour in there, doing what it wants when it wants. In the last couple of weeks I either smell or taste metal. I can't really decide which it is, I think it's smell, which has led me to cleaning things that I thought were at it's cause. Until I had the smell/taste in a parking lot and knew it was not something in our house. Maybe it's me? Since I shower daily I don't think I smell like a rusty old nail, but as I'm all too aware this last year, anything is possible.
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