Monday, May 6, 2013

Love the New Me

This is a quote from a friend of mine who's brother went through two brain surgeries and is the only other person I know right now who understands what I'm going through.

 "Its not like other surgery were you have them and your all better after:( The brain is tricky it takes a really long time to heal. It must be hard because to the rest of us your doing so good but to you your just not yourself. You need to step back and see your self in our eyes. Even if you don't feel like the old you some days, just remember everyone loves the new you just the same:)) it's a long slow hill babe but you'll get there!! Always thinking of youyour in my prayers"

I'm not who I was before brain surgery nor do I think I will be that person again.  My outlook, my faith even my soul has been changed.  I might look good on the outside but struggle everyday with who's inside my head, the exhaustion I feel from the smallest tasks, the frustration I feel from loosing my independence.  I haven't accepted any of that yet, but for some reason I'm feeling pressure that I should just be "over it", "better" and "back to my old self."  Is is pressure from society or from myself?   A bit of both for sure but probably the latter.  I need to learn to love the new me and since it took me 40 years to love the last one I've got some work to do.

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