This "Time" Was Healing

Have you ever known you were exactly where you were supposed to be at a given moment?  Call it fate, divine intervention, call it what you want, it happened to me.
A few weeks ago I had to actually go into the bank, I know in the day of online banking and bank machines, it's a rarity.  The person I needed to see was no in yet so I went to the Bank Tellers.  Having worked at this particular bank and branch I knew one of the them.  However, this was not the Teller I was standing in front of.  This young lady I didn't know, yet there was no doubt I was supposed to be talking to her.  As the Teller whom I worked with asked how I was doing, I responded with a "I'm hanging in there" which of course led to her asking questions as she didn't know about my brain tumour.  When I told her the young lady standing before me said " my Mother passed away from a brain tumour"  This, one would think would become a very uncomfortable moment, but it wasn't.  I was calm as I told her I was sorry and asked her questions about her mom.  She was calm as she told me, all the while doing my banking transactions, not missing a beat.  There was no doubt in my mind that there was a force that had acted in us meeting that day.

One of my fears is, upon my death (you can't help but think of that when you have a brain tumour) is how are my children going to make out in life.  If I don't get to witness it for myself, will they be successful,  beautiful, well rounded, kind?  Standing before me was a young lady who was all of this and more, and she gave me those answers.  She was successful, beautiful and kind.  I thought about her all day, talked about her that evening.  Something tells me I wasn't looking at her through my eyes but that of her Mother.

Several days later I received a note in the mail from this Teller, thanking me for coming in, how she enjoyed out chat and it was a pleasure meeting me.  I then realized that it wasn't just me thinking of her, she too was moved by our 5 minute conversation.  It was truly then that I realized it was something way bigger then me that brought us together that day.

Over 20 years ago, while working as a Teller at this exact bank branch I was given a small teddy bear wearing a green sweater.  This was a small token from a client who thought I went above and beyond to help her and that my kindness should be recognized.  I've held onto that little teddy bear all these years, he's moved houses many times, but always found his way out of a box and onto my dresser.  I kept it because every time I looked at it I saw kindness and it made me feel good.  When I got in my car after leaving the bank that day, I knew that I had to pass this little bear on.  Now keep in mind, I don't think of this bear everyday, in fact hardly ever.  However, it sure popped into my mind that day.  Not only did I feel like this young lady deserved it but more so, needed it.  The little bear with the green sweater now lives in a different house, hopefully given off that same warm fuzzy feeling only teddy bears can give, especially ones given with true kindness.

It was pleasure meeting you Lauren, thank you for the most amazing 5 minutes of time I've had in a long time.

It's The Natural Kind of Disapointment

Ok I realize it's been a while since I've posted anything.  I know when people start to send me Facebook messages or actually use the telephone to call, it's time to write.  I was very excited in my last post to be seeing a Neurologist and a Naturopath Dr, and that excitement is still there, things have just changed course.

My medications, my Neurologist has a theory about the meds I was on for two years and thinks it's best to take me off of them over a course of 6 weeks and put me on a new drug.  My body is not happy right now and has basically caused me to go into hiding. My vision is off, my balance is off, migraines have returned, my trigeminal neuralgia is back in it's original electrifying form.  I'm sleeping all the time and I swear my head has changed shape.  All this being said,  my well thought out natural approach to brain tumour eviction (turmeric) has been put on hold due to the med change.  We can't introduce too many things at one time.  I get that, and agree, it's just another waiting game.

So I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I'm just trying to keep my feet planted and my head clear as I had no idea that changing medications could have that much affect on a person.  I'm truly trying to just keep it together.  At the end of the day, I still have a brain tumour, there are days when that statement is harder on the head then others.